pickupartist2's Journal

Pickup Artist Body Language
We've all heard the platitude, "Be confident", right? Easier said than done. Confidence is an ambigious, all encompassing term that girls KNOW when they see it, but can't quite put their finger on it. Other guys KNOW when they meet a cool, confident man, nevertheless they may not understand what makes this one pickup artist better than all the other lamers.

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Well, here are MY practical suggestions on developing both inner and outer confidence outside of a PUA Bootcamp. It's essentially a self-feeding loop, items that you do on the outside (your gestures, movements, etc.) feed to your own ego as well as vice versa. When you ARE confident, then you ACT confident. This isn't easy to develop for most guys.

If you aren't "naturally" a confident guy, you happen to be basically going to have to fake it until you make it. And yes, it's going to be hard and some women are going to be able to read right through you in the beginning. But it's like muscle training, it's PUA Training. It takes a lot of time, practice, and social development. You'll learn to develop this social savvy, flirting skills and you also won't be nervous in social settings. But like exercising, it's gonna hurt and stay uncomfortable as you supersize those flirting muscles.

***Outer Confidence***

1. MOVE SLOW. I don't mean robot slow, but an extremely self-assured "I'm in no hurry so you can sit your ass down and wait until I'm done" kind of slow. What this means is controlling any nervous tics in great amounts hand movements, turning around and around, rubbernecking like some tourist at all the hot girls, scurrying around & leaving people's way, etc. You may be animated, but don't look like a yapping puppy dog on caffeine.

2. LEAN BACK (Sitting). When you're sitting, lean back and become COMFORTABLE. Your comfort, relaxation and pleasure Will be more IMPORTANT than what other people think about you. When you're bullshitting with your friends within the living room, odds are you're kicking back in the couch and relaxing just like the couch potato you are. The same goes for just about any other social setting. YOUR COMFORT Is a lot more IMPORTANT THAN WHAT OTHERS Think about YOU.

3. LEAN BACK (Standing). The same thing goes for when you're standing and speaking with someone. I was at Drama Club once i saw this cute, blonde girl rise and talk to these Asian guys. Usually the one guy was very animated (nothing necessarily wrong with this), but was leaning forward and backward into the girl. The clown- er, guy- appeared to be a pendulum seeing how fast he continued moving back in and out. Trust me, that's weird. Ideally, you would like to appear chill and relaxed. When you talk to someone, you (as a sign of comfort, and intimacy) begin to lean in while SHE leans in as well.

4. SMILE & FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. Don't smile TOO much, but give her a smile. Too much smiling makes you look like something. Also realize that there are TONS of numerous smiles and facial expressions. You have the sexy smile, the smoldering smile, the poking fun at you/me smile, the smirk, the innocent smile, the puzzled smile, the "you're retarded" look, the "I want to kiss you" look, the "Fuck me now" look, sticking your tongue out at her, etc. Rely on them ALL. Asians especially have to do this because, for whatever reason, our facial expressions aren't one of the most readable to others.

5. FEET. Just like #3, when you're standing, don't stand being a girl: your feet and knees are together. Stand being a man. Men take up more than enough room. We need air to circulate between our bait n' tackle. Spread the feet apart. This also has the additional advantage of giving you better balance in the event some meathead wants to knock your block off.

6. DRINKS. If you're holding a drink, don't hug it like it's only friend. Hold it down on your side. Look around you when you're in a bar. People hold their drinks before their chest like it's their baby or they do not know what to do with their hands. And NEVER, EVER BUY A GIRL A glass or two in order to talk to her. That's lame and she or he knows it. Lots of pretty women use that tactic to get free drinks. Now, it's OK later on when you've been flirting together with her, sitting with her, chilling with her for 30 minutes to an hour. Then its like you're just investing in a round of drinks to suit your needs and your friends. But NEVER BUY A GIRL A DRINK as a way to start a girl.

7. TOUCH. Do not be afraid to touch girls. I mean, don't you enjoy it when a women touches your arm, chest, back, etc.? Same thing with girls, they enjoy physical touch too. Obviously, however, there always a comfort line. But while you flirt, that comfort increases. You are able to touch the shoulder, arm, offer her a noogie, pick her up, booty bump her, spin her around, throw your arm over her shoulders, hugs, etc. If you're a cool guy, they will adore it. Again, this takes some skill to build up.

8. VOICE VOLUME. If you're talking in a loud venue, you have to be able to speak loudly and clearly. Nobody pays attention to the guy who's just whispering. Conversely, you ought to be able to pull a girl in and begin speaking slowly and seductively.

9. VOICE SPEED. Don't not speak Too quickly. It's a sign of nervousness and discomfort. If you sound like some kid who forgot his daily dose of Ritalin, you're gonna weird people out.

10. CONVERSATION. You need to be able to generate conversation on the fly. You say something, she says something. If you fail to hold a conversation for your life of you, start practicing and doing more along with your life so you HAVE something to speak about. Be humorous, playful, excited, sad, vunerable, curious, etc.

11. DOMINATE. Physical space is definitely an illusion. It's something that's really just within our minds. Don't be afraid to get involved with someone's physical space or they into yours. In case you are flirting with someone, slowly step into their space. When turning people around, place you on their shoulder and gently move them. Tapping on their own shoulder is weak. In the event you go up to a table to speak to someone, place both hands up for grabs and lean.

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12. Eye-to-eye contact. This is self-obvious. In other counries, eye-to-eye contact isn't a big deal, but in America and Europe, it almost certainly is. If you can't MAKE and HOLD eye-to-eye contact, you're considered timid, shy or- even worse- weak in both worlds.

Hell, there's more but I'll delve into that another time. After i have time, I'll explore inner confidence, your beliefs and reality.

Pickup Artist

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